Interesting quotes/jokes/etc
Programming - v. The act of banging one's head against a wall.
#include <disclaimer.h>
Profanity is the one language all programmers understand.
Windows supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously.
Windows: a 32 bit graphical front end to a 16 bit patch on an 8 bit operating system written for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company without 1 bit of decency.
The key word in backwards-compatible is backwards.
Contrary to popular belief, UNIX is user friendly. It's just very particular about who it makes friends with.
A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in. -- A.S.R.
An actual error message I've gotten while programming (from gcc-2.95)
that clearly demonstrates why pointers in C suck:
latticeOps.C:68: no match for `Real *& * Quark
Microsoft Windows: An entomologist's dream.
9 million lines of code and no talking paperclip? Wow this program must actually do something. --John Hall talking about StarOffice in comp.sys.sgi.admin
A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
| Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
| A: Top-posting.
| Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet and in e-mail?
| |
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The only secure computer is one that's unplugged, locked in a safe, and buried 20 feet under the ground in a secret location... and I'm not even too sure about that one. -- attributed to Dennis Huges, FBI
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The only secure computer is one that is turned off, locked in a safe and buried 20 feet down in a secret location, and I'm not completely confident of that either. -- attributed to Bruce Schneier
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The only secure computer is one that is turned off, locked in a safe, and buried 20 feet down in a secret location -- and I'm not completely confident of that one either. -- attributed to Bruce Schneier
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you can trust me, there is no backdoor inside. -- Marcus Herbert in comp.sys.sgi.admin
A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. -- Joseph Campbell
Judging by who sends me the most e-mail, cron is my best friend. -- Jennifer Shannon
Hey, I flamed using the SMTP protocol, how often do you see that? -- John Bambenek
SYN! SYN-ACK! ACK! The mating call of the internet.
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who know binary and those who don't.
Windows has detected that you moved your mouse. Please reboot for the changes to take effect.
<Jagged> QuickSlvr: id love to take your brain like take an iso image or something so i can use it as a reference or something
Of course my password is the same as my pet's name. My cat's name was Q47py!3, but I change it every 90 days.
The Church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church. -- Ferdinand Magellan
"God is dead" -- Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead" -- God
In God we trust; all others we monitor.
pi=3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089....
An orangutan can take a derivative
Dogs think they are humans. Cats know they are gods.
When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If you make a man a fire, you'll keep him warm for a day. If you set a man on fire, you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.
Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience comes from bad judgement.
Think about how dumb the average person is.
Got that idea in your mind? Brace yourself:
Half of them are dumber than that.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, watch out for humanitarians.
The leading cause of death on death row is old age. -- Ronald M. George, the chief justice of the California Supreme Court
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
There are two rules for success in life:
Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know.
If a particle has m<10^19 GeV, there has to be a reason. -- Peter Lepage
The American people have now spoken, but it's going to take a little while to determine exactly what they said. -- Bill Clinton (waiting for results of the 2000 presidential election)
In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. -- Carl Sagan
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. -- Margaret Mead
I am awaiting the day when people remember the fact that discovery does not work by deciding what you want and then discovering it. -- N. David Mermin
Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is. -- William James
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it ? -- Albert Einstein
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. -- G. B. Shaw
